Cemetery hires first death doula to guide mortality talks

Historic Congressional Cemetery in Washington, D.C., has appointed a death doula to facilitate open dialogue regarding mortality. The position, which the cemetery describes as a first for such institutions, centers on promoting what staff term “death positivity.”

Laura Lyster-Mensh serves as the cemetery’s death doula. Her role involves providing end-of-life services, ranging from planning final moments to offering respite for exhausted caregivers. Lyster-Mensh stated her primary objective is to help visitors discuss death without fear, curiosity, or awkwardness.

The cemetery is a national landmark located in the heart of the nation’s capital. Lyster-Mensh acknowledged that the phrase “death positivity” might initially appear disrespectful to those who are grieving. She explained that the concept is about living better by viewing the boundaries of life as factors that make life precious.

Lyster-Mensh conducts her work through regular events, including “death cafes.” During these gatherings, she provides tea, cookies, and a deck of cards known as “the death deck.” The cards are designed to initiate conversations about mortality among attendees.

Many participants initially express reluctance, stating they do not want to discuss death. Lyster-Mensh noted that once the conversation begins, participants often learn personal details about the people they care about. These real conversations are frequently uncomfortable for people to initiate until the timing becomes urgent or too late.

When asked for advice on living, Lyster-Mensh advised individuals to slow down. She observed that people often try to speed through grief and happy moments, effectively hoarding them. She argued that one cannot truly be present if they are hoarding experiences.